"If there is a Brooklyn rooftop,
if it bullies the sun in the morning,
all thirsty and cotton-mouthed,
all parched and wanting,
if it is a place just flat enough for our feet
and our wine glasses
and just high enough
for us to feel like broken rules and vagabond,
if there is something like freedom
in the way we wants boys we can’t have
but have boys we can never
bring ourselves to want,
then be this with me.
Be this kind of lonely.
Be this kind of lost and
uncracked knuckles and
cheap liquor with me.
Be this stained mattress
and yellow dorm room light
and hungry with me.
I will rub the backs of your toes and
kiss your fingers and we’ll mix lipstick colours
like punch and vodka and
we’ll get drunk off of
the soberest feelings and I’ll promise you
things I’ve never seen. So come,
be this kind of woman with me.
Be this kind of alone with me,
the swinging lightbulb and quiet corridor kind,
the finding ourselves kind, the forgetting kind,
the fool’s gold and touching shoulders kind,
the invitation to the rest of all
of my days, all of my littles and all of my forevers,
my getting lost and
getting back togethers.
Be this kind of home with me, the
I love you and I’m not okay and I love you kind,
the maybe I can be that
kind of kind to
"…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, ‘That was fine’. And your life is a long line of fine."
"Just tell me how you fucking feel."
"but we joke and laugh
otherwise we would start
Charles Bukowski, excerpt from “the shit shits” (via feellng
"Nobody can save you but yourself — and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning — this is it."
"She was desperate and she was choosy at the same time and, in a way, beautiful, but she didn’t have quite enough going for her to become what she imagined herself to be."
Charles Bukowski, Factotum
"Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usually an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasures. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage."